Live the life of nature's flow with the mind of the Universe
I grew up in an unhappy family. As a young boy, I would constantly find my parents arguing with each other after school. Because of this unhealthy dynamic, I never thought of my house as a home, just a place where two people who hated each other would fight.
Over the years, my parents grew more and more apart. They had become such different people that they could no longer see eye to eye on anything. One was a liberal Democrat and the other was a staunch Republican. One believed in Christianity and the other was an Atheist. They could never agree on anything.
It was tough finding stability in a house filled with so much resentment. All I wanted was both my parents’ approval and love, but if I catered to one, I would be rejected by the other. It was like living on a relationship minefield.
Later in life, this deep desire for approval grew out of control. I needed to be loved, recognized and trusted by everyone around me. I became a people pleaser. A YES man.
I became an entrepreneur because I thought I would gain the acceptance of my graduate school classmates through wealth. I went to church so I could gain the acceptance of my community and neighborhood through faith. I thought that if I could tiptoe through life as I had tiptoed through my childhood, that I could eventually feel fulfillment, because I would gain the acceptance that I had lacked in my youth.
Of course, as one can deduce, this was not a realistic or healthy way to live any sort of life. I was fed up with the person that I had become. That is when I started meditating.
Now in my 50’s, I’ve never been in such a healthy relationship with myself. Until this meditation, I did not know the driving force behind my behaviors, but as you have just read, I am able to explain the “story of me” in a very thoughtful and logical way, without embarrassment or shame. I can admit now that I wanted to be a business owner for all the wrong reasons. I only cared about recognition and quick success, not achieving the goal to help my customers. That is why I failed so many startup companies.
I can also admit that my attendance at church was mainly spurred by selfish wants of being treated by the warmth of others, and not because I was trying to save my soul.
Without meditation, I would still be pandering to the whims of others and failing to find approval in the world. But now, I have thrown away that old self and I have come to accept and love my True self. Even after only 2 months of meditating, people have told me how much happier I seem and how they’ve seen changes in my thinking, my behaviors, and my habits.
I can see the changes too. I no longer have to wander back and forth in search of love, recognition, and success.
I am so grateful to this meditation.
This method works and everyone should do it. In fact, I’m heading to the meditation center right now to work on myself even more. Hope to see you there!
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