Meditation Town

Member's Stories

Live the life of nature's flow with the mind of the Universe

Overcoming My Perfectionism

Michael L.

I suffered from anxiety attacks my entire life. I was always afraid of making mistakes or looking weak. Everything from being called out by a coworker to using the wrong choice of word, would trigger anxiety pains for days. I was jealous that everyone around me did not need to take themselves so seriously. They could so easily forget the awkward moments in their life, but my mind would re-play them over and over non-stop. 

 

The anxiety attacks got so bad in my thirties that I could no longer function normally and I realized that if I wanted my life back, I would have to actively put a stop to them.

I read numerous self-help books and went to a psychologist. These tools helped a little but my attacks were still too overwhelming. It wasn’t until I started to meditate with the help of a professional instructor that I found the solution to my problem. 

 

First, I learned how to look within myself to find the triggers and the root cause of my anxiety. Through this reflection, I found that I had extremely high self-expectations and lived a life of perfectionism. The anxiety was brought on by the large gap between my expectation of the world and the reality of the world. My pride was hurt by the distance between these two realities.

Once I learned this about myself, the meditation allowed me to release it. With practice, I no longer fought the feelings of anxiety, but instead welcomed and accepted them in. What truly changed for me was when I had the revelation, “why should I be afraid of these feelings now that I have a way to deal with them?”. It was at that time that my shame, guilt, denial, fear and all the negative feelings that had been bottled inside for so long were finally able to be released.

 

I don’t need to be perfect anymore. I don’t need to be strong anymore. It has become easier for me to try new things. My mind has never felt lighter or clearer and I feel like a new person. I want others to know that it is possible to live a life where you are not controlled by your anxiety. If meditation worked for someone like me, it can definitely work for anyone. I can’t recommend it enough.

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